**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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