I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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