You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
