she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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