so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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