i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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