If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
is it fun? or sober?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
