that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
