where am i from again
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
