help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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