As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
