I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
