When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
