i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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