I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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