Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
