Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
