Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
