but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
