I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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