I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
