The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
