its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
