Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
