mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you guys were way drunker than both of me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
