The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
