Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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