Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
