Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
