community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
