I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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