ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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