New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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