After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
