He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
