i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
