This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
