Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
