one might say we're banned from that church
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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