We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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