i just wanna soil my oats bro
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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