id be glad to
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
