these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
