i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
