I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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