Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
