I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
