How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Everyone says I win the strip club
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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