I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
