Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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